How music taught culture critic Sam Sanders to be grateful for his grief

As the host and creator of numerous hit culture podcasts, Sam Sanders is known for having a finger on the pulse of pop culture. But growing up strictly Pentecostal in Texas, non-religious music was forbidden – so Sam got resourceful, smuggling CDs into the house in his underwear. Sam was also quietly reckoning with another secret: the fact that he was gay.

At 18 years old, just as he was getting ready to leave for Stanford, Sam’s life was turned upside down. Both of his parents suffered major health crises in the span of a few months, resulting in Sam becoming their primary caregiver. Years later, Sam would face another devastating double-whammy with the death of his mother followed a month later by a crushing breakup.

In this episode, Sam opens up about the songs that carried him through life’s hardest moments, how Janet Jackson served as a “possibility model” for the freedom he was seeking, and why – after decades of “chasing” – his vibe today is just vibing.